Tinted Windows

Today we went to the library. As soon as I parked our van, I went to the back of it to nurse Phillip before we went in. We've strategically collapsed one of the middle seats so there is lots of space and it's like a little room on wheels. I have not yet counted all the ways that I love my van. But most assuredly, I LOVE my van. And it's not that it's particularly fancy (though it does have some bells and whistles), it's not brand new, but it suits my needs perfectly and when I drive it I feel happy and thankful and I think it drives really great too! I could go on, really. One perk is that it has tinted windows, which I've never had (except on Jason's truck but that doesn't count.) I thought the major advantage to tinted windows was the shade on the kid's faces, and a slightly cooler car during the half of the year that the sun blasts us all with it's fierce, unrelenting heat. But today as I sat and nursed Phil, and joked around with the kids I was treated with something quite different. So you know, when I sit on the "floor" of the van my head is quite low, and it is altogether possible someone may see my children and not me, and become a concerned Samaritan, and take a closer look upon the inside of our van to confirm or to rest their suspicions. That would be awkward. So I often think about the kind of expressions I would make if that were to happen. Would I give a disarming smile and little wave? Or would I grimace and say, "Get the heck away from my van!" Because you never know what exactly you would do in these instances. It all depends on so many variations of how it could happen. If it was an innocent looking grandma type, or some strange man who looked like a perv, my reactions would be different. Back to my story though, as I sat, a car drove up right next to ours on the passenger side. Oh rats, I thought. A thirty something woman walks out with three men who all were either down syndrome or some other form of special needs. She was obviously a guardian or care giver of some sort taking them on an outing. I tell the kids to be still for a minute to avoid the aforementioned scenario from taking place but too late! The woman walks purposefully closer to my van, comes closer, closer to the window. I feel that she's about to press her nose to it. I look into her eyes and decide upon the the disarming smile and little wave. I keep doing it. It seems to last forever.

And then she fixes her hair. My eyes widen as I realize she doesn't see me, or us! I fight back a snort of a laugh. Her companions are oblivious to anything going on. I continue to look right into her eyes. She fixes her hat. She primps her make up, examines her entire face. She all but flosses. She ends our session with a smile of satisfaction, gathers her charges, and helps one of them light up a cigarette. Hannah and James have perplexed looks while I contemplate how bizarre that moment was in which the tables turned. I had thought my space was about to be (innocently as it was) in a sense violated. But I ended up feeling the violator as I stole this woman's moment of privacy, as she peered into a "mirror"of my tinted windows, hilarious as it was.

"TV PARTY TONIGHT! TV PARTY TONIGHT!"

Remember that old Black Flag song? Jason and I sing it on occasion. You can easilly find a silly video on youtube if you so desire to search for it. I deemed it too irreverent for my blog.

But while I type away, my children are being babysat by rented PBS Kids DVDs from the library. They're having their own little TV party. James isn't feeling too great and I can't hold a flailing, grumpy, screaming, crying, almost-two-year-old brute and nurse the iddy biddy widdle precious newbie at the same time. So I gave up and succumbed to the radiant glow and child pacifying abilities of the one-eyed beast.

Jason and I did pretty well on having hardly any tv on during Lent, and I really don't want to allow it to creep back into becoming a regular way of life for us. Jason's mentioned replacing our tv with a fish tank and the little rebel in me sort of loves the idea. But then the mother in me is all, "NOOOO! You mustn't take away my crutch, my ace, my old stand by in my bag-o-tricks! MY PRECIOUS!!!!" Would "here kiddo's, sit here and watch the fishies" induce the same mind-numbing trance? Hmmmm.

Thanks, Therese, for your post that gave me something to post. :)

Joyous Pascha!

Christ is Risen! Truly He is Risen!

The kids and I are enjoying a bright, Bright Monday morning. It is a warm day and Hannah & James are busying themselves with their Pascha gifts while I put the house back together from a busy week and weekend. Laundry is being tackled, amongst other housekeeping chores while listening to Ancient Faith Radio which is making my heart happy. It hasn't disappointed me at all as it continuously plays all of my most favorite Paschal hymns. My most favorite is this, which is a hymn to the Mother of God:

The Angel cried to the Lady, full of grace:
"Rejoice, O pure Virgin! Again, I say: ‘Rejoice,
your Son is risen from His three days in the tomb!
With Himself He has raised all the dead.’"
Rejoice, O ye people!
Shine, shine, O new Jerusalem!
The glory of the Lord has shone on you.
Exult now, and be glad, O Zion!
Be radiant, O pure Theotokos,
in the Resurrection of your Son!

How beautiful is that? I looked forward to hearing it all year.

And it has been a full year of being a chrismated, communing, confessing Orthodox Christian. A year of falling, and getting back up, of admitting my sins, and finding refuge at the Holy Alter, being nourished by Christ Himself. In hope, I work out my salvation with fear and trembling. Lord have mercy. As I watched 15 people on Holy Saturday come into the Church at the Baptismal Liturgy, I let tears fall down my cheeks, and got a runny nose, seeing them do what I did last year. It's a new birth into a life that is full of struggle, but overflowing with joy if you let it be. I'm full of joy when I don't complain, when I put on a smile even though I don't feel like it, when I do unto others and be a Christian, when I remember that I have put on Christ. "As many of you as have been baptised into Christ have put on Christ."

Yesterday at Agape Vespers, Fr. Josiah reminded us that if Christ had not truly risen from the tomb, we would be in the greatest of despair and a sorry lot. So in faith I say again to you:

Christ is Risen!

Truly He is Risen!

I'm holding on to that, reaching out to touch His robe. God bless you and give you a wonderful Bright Week!

Imagine me whispering this entire post to you:

Psst. Hi.

My kids are all leaving me alone right now. It's kind of weird. So I thought I'd say hi.

OK. That's all. See you later.

Bye.