Thursday, February 01, 2007

Is my face getting smaller....

Or is my mole getting bigger?

I have a mole on my face that sits on my cheek precisely where my smile line is so when I grin it gets lost in the crack. The mole has never really bothered me before. In fact, I used to lovingly call it my "Marilyn" or "Cindy Crawford". But lately I've been obsessivly staring at in the mirror, contorting my face, frowning at it, poking it, and wondering if it's just me, or is it becoming a monster.

You know how it is when you gain pounds gradually, you don't really notice until you try to get your favorite jeans on, and say, "Oh dang, I better lay off the cheesecake." It's the boiling frog phenomenon. So I asked Jason a while back if he thought Marilyn was getting bigger. He just shook his head and probably lied like any good husband would do and said no, I don't think so. But I keep asking him, because I'm insecure like that, and he now he teases me about it. It's now an ongoing joke between us that people from church come up to him and ask him if he's married to the girl with giant mole on her face.

As if I don't obsess enough over myself, one night, I was sitting on our bed reading some books to Hannah and he smacked my butt, an indication that my butt crack was exposed again. I said, "Dangit, I'm telling you my butt crack was made too long." I really think it is. And I know, it's totally disgusting to be that girl. I really try to prevent it, but those jeans relax after wearing them a few hours, and don't do their job.

He looked at me and said, "Do you just sit around and make this stuff up?"

But seriously. First of all, there are no pants that are high wasted, well there are, I just haven't worn any of them since 6th grade. I hear that waste lines are going back up, but it's been over a decade since I've had pants that came within an inch of my belly button. And that's really something, because if you can remember from some other post, I'm sure I've shared about my freakishly short torso.

My point is, and I think I have one to bring this all together, yesterday I went to Motherhood Maternity and found this band that wraps around your waste for a multitude of good deeds. It can be used in early pregnancy for when you are in the "in-between" stage and the maternity pants are too big, but you're busting out of your regular pants. Kind of missed that boat since I'm already six months but it's great for my maternity pants that I foolishly bought a size to small. But I realized while wearing it today that it serves an even more noble purpose, it stops my crack from being exposed. So I was just thinking I'd buy a couple more of these things and wear them even after the baby is born. It will be my trademark. Instead of seeing my crack when I squat or bend over, you will see my glorious belly band made of a lycra/spandex blend. So, needless to say, I am elated because, now I will have one less thing to be neurotic and vain about. I can focus my precious time on my growing, throbbing mole.


Blogger Christina said...

I discovered the bellaband when I was about 5 months pregnant with my second. i loved it. I wore it after I had the baby to keep the maternity clothes on (when you are still not fitting into your old, "normal" clothes). i highly recommend it to every pregnant woman out there!!!

9:39 AM  
Blogger Katie H said...

you're too cute

1:33 PM  
Blogger Rebeca said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I've enjoyed reading some of your posts. My husband and I have been looking into Orthodoxy for nearly two years now, and just became catechumens two weeks ago. It was a big step for us, and I still have a ton of questions, but Orthodoxy has given me more satisfactory answers to many things than all my years of Protestantism did. Much of it still seems so strange, but as we learn more, our trust grows. We're stepping forward, slowly! I'd love to hear more about your journey- feel free to email me if you want to.
I read your birth fears post, and can relate to some of what you're saying. I apprenticed with a midwife for a summer, and although I did choose to deliver in a hospital with a nurse-midwife, had my heart set on a perfect natural birth. Then, life happened: I had an infection in my uterus, didn't progress, ended up after more than 14 hours of labor finally having pitocin and pain medication. Six more hours of labor, and finally my sweet boy was born. My second labor was completely different, five hours long, no complications, baby born in the water, my husband delivered her. (Still in the hospital.)
I think that the best thing you can do is to educate yourself, and have someone with you who will stand up for you if you can't or don't feel like it. Ideally someone other than your husband, who will be supporting you in different ways. Have you considered having a doula? (You probably already know this, but that's one of their main roles.) I don't know if they do this everywhere but here the hospital has a form you can fill out beforehand that lets them know what your preferences are. In my experiences I think this has helped. I don't know how far along you are, but hopefully you have a doctor who is willing to work with your wishes. I pray that everything will go smoothly this time, and that you will be able to have a natural labor.
Okay, sorry for leaving such a long "comment"! I was going to email you but didn't see a link for that.

8:24 PM  
Blogger Xenia Kathryn said...

Nice! I think I'll try a bella band too... although I did buy a cheap version of one on e-bay, and it didn't really stay on very well. My bum is occasionally subject to exposure, much to my aggravation.

And in regards to your mole... I know how you feel. I'm convinced that my nose changed in appearance after I had V. I think that something happened in labor, when I contorted my facial muscles in the "pushing stage"... Weird, I know. :)

10:15 PM  

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