Substitutions for Expletives
Yesterday I tried to close the kitchen window and nearly ripped off a finger. Here's what came out of my mouth:
FARTKNOCKER! SHOOT!
I said it with the same zeal one would use when saying real expletives. It was followed by hysterical laughing coming in the direction from my husband. He knows I struggle with dropping an occasional bad word in times like these. And he knows how badly I don't want to hear the f-word coming out of my cute little girl's pretty little mouth. He was proud. I felt like a dork, which I am.
FARTKNOCKER! SHOOT!
I said it with the same zeal one would use when saying real expletives. It was followed by hysterical laughing coming in the direction from my husband. He knows I struggle with dropping an occasional bad word in times like these. And he knows how badly I don't want to hear the f-word coming out of my cute little girl's pretty little mouth. He was proud. I felt like a dork, which I am.
posted by Lauren S. at
1:30 PM
4 Comments:
oh snap. lauren's cuttin' out the fbombs! she is the mom of the century now =D
see ya guys soon hopefully...
that's so funny. i found your blog through the daily grab bag (I go to church with katie). I read about your wanting to have a VBAC and am stunned by your doctors! I have two beautiful boys... the first delivered normally and the second was an emergency c-section at 32 weeks (he is fine). And my perinatologist, of all people, said that if i wanted to have more children that we would, at the time, decide what to do... and he would support me in that decision. And I'm a high risk pregnancy! So that's what astounds me about your doctor. Granted, I can't have any more children anyway because of my poor health but I still can't believe your doctor (I'm ranting and raving for you all the way in Portland, Oregon:) ANyway, nice to meet you..
Thanks for stopping by Christina. Yeah, it's pretty amazing isn't it? First let me say it's not just my doctor. My doctor would support me, however, his insurance and the hospital's insurance are the culprits to taking away women's freedom all over Southern California and many other areas. I heard Florida is really bad too.
Nice to meet you too!
Hey Thomas - It's not like I'm constantly dropping fbombs. They just sort of slip out in unfortunate instances, like when I stub my toe. he he
I started saying, "Bloody Poop!!!" when angered and I realized that wasn't much better than the swear word it was supposed to be replacing. Haven't really come up with a good alternative, though.
Johnny is getting better, by the way. Thanks for asking. He has an ear infection and it wasn't healing on it's own, so, he's taking antibiotics.
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