Friday, September 29, 2006

Dog Barf

At approximately 2 am I woke up to my dog Blue (the big, speckled mut) making barf noises. He sleeps in the kitchen so I lept out of bed and ran in there to find, oh, about a gallon of barf all over the floor. I let him outside and cursed bitterly in my head. I was livid. I'm the one who's supposed to be throwing up in this house. I walked back into the bedroom and made sure Jason new just what had happened. He said that he had just had a dream about Blue doing that. Yeah, it wasn't a dream. I laid there in bed and wanted to cry. I think I said that the last thing I felt like doing was cleaning up dog barf. I would rather mow the lawn, or wash the windows.Jason said he would help me later. I laid there some more and contemplated how I would go about with the cleanup. I was baffled. If I could hose it out I would have. I seriously thought about it. After laying there for half an hour unable to go back to sleep thinking about that puke atop the linoleum getting more and more putrid, I couldn't wait for Jason to wake up to clean it. Getting him out of bed in the middle of the night is like trying to teach a brick how to float in the water. So I put on some old shoes, got the paper towels, plastic baggies for gloves, extra garbage bags, and with Jason's annoyed advice (he begged me to do it later) he said I should use all his old tshirts that were in a pile to get rid of. Brilliant. I went to work and the tshirts worked just swell. I went out to investigate if Blue ate a plant or something in the back but found nothing. When I looked at him though, he had the most sad expression and his face was completely swollen. I wasn't mad at him anymore. I still don't know what happened, but I know he was sorry. What a night.

I think the kid has a bit of a fever too. She's acting her normal self though, hopefully she's fine. As for me, the nausea still hasn't come in full force. There are few things that make me go eeeww a little worse. One is dog barf. The other would be Doritos. I wake up with Jason every morning before he goes to work to pack his lunch and we crack up hysterically when we put the Doritos in the little baggie. I think I turn green, which makes Jason laugh, and I just laugh because he's laughing and he loves his stupid stinky crap cheese Doritos so much.


Blogger annie said...

What an awful story. I mean, the story is pretty funny and you told it well, but...YUCK.
I hope your dog is okay, and that the next time you clean up puke it will be your own. : )
Speaking of yuck, we've been sick in this house. Some nasty stomach flu. I think we are all the mend, but it was pretty bad for awhile. Thank God for indoor plumbing! Really, I did.

4:30 PM  
Blogger Lauren S. said...


Blue seems to be getting better. I think he got stung by a bee or something. His swelling is going down. He was antsy all day and is just now taking a nap. Poor fellow.

Glad to hear you guys are feeling better. My little girl still seems feverish. She rarely gets sick so I don't really know what to do with her. :(

Well, have a great weekend!

4:46 PM  
Blogger annie said...

I skimmed through your story the first time and I guess I missed the part about your daugther. I hope she is feeling better. It's NO fun when they are sick. I never anticipated how much I would ache and worry for my child over little things, like a runny nose or fever.

9:36 AM  
Blogger Thomas Ham said...

did hannah eat blues regurgitated dinner? that would be gross if she did.

6:30 PM  

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